Whats great about being in last place is you cant get any lower in the standings, youre already there, rock bottom. Its like being an ant larvae in the animal kingdom it doesnt get any worse than that. Your only chance, if youre an ant is to die as soon as soon as possible and hope to be reborn as something awesome like a Gorilla Bear or a flying Sabre-Tooth Tiger.
Its also great because it makes conversations about basketball easy, when people back home ask hows the season going, you just shrug and say 'last place'. No need really for a follow up question, you pretty much summed up the season in two words. Usually, thats comes with an awkward silence for a moment then the subject is changed to something a bit more uplifting, 'so.. ummm how bout them miners in Chile, huh?'
But being in last place also has its drawbacks. It seems like when youre in the bottom of the standings everyone becomes a coach/critique.
When you go to a bar, or restaurant, walk down the street or sometimes open your in-box someone is there to help you with their advice or mock you for your teams pathetic showing.
'Listen', they always start, 'your team needs.
....to play more zone...
....score more points!...
....to play some defense...
....eat more vegetables...
....drink more beer...
....why cant you beat the offside trap?... (A personal favorite)
Even some guy I didnt know wrote me an email, 'Maybe you should concentrate less on blogging and more on beating ______ on Saturday', he said.
To which I responded, 'The pen is mightier than the sword!' Which in retrospect made absolutely no sense in this context but he didnt email back so Im sure hes convinced I said something profound.
In last place, youre reminded almost on a daily basis of your shortcomings, especially by the management. Who, understandably so, are disappointed in the product on the court that theyve investment in. So they've decided to come up with new ways to 'motivate' us. Including a month or so ago. We received a paper riddled with typos declaring we would lose 20% of our next salary (hugely illegal, someone call the EU!) if we didnt win the next 4 out of 6 games.
To their and our surprise their 'motivation' worked and we won 4 games in a row. However despite our good form, we were still fined 20% of our next paycheck. (I would imagine it was done as some updated Ponzi scheme, in which they illegally take our money, and then pay our next months salary with our money that they illegally took. Im speculating people, but you got to love Eastern Europe). So, of course, after every loss since then, the management threatens to take more money from us if we keep losing.
The ironic thing in all of the shenanigans is we are still only 1 game out of a playoff spot. Partly because of a recent good run of form, and partly because after one team went bankrupt there are only 10 teams in the league and 8 make the playoffs.
So, although we may never get our money back, with a few wins here or there, we might just be able to change this ant larvae of a season into that beautiful flying Sabre-Tooth Tiger called the postseason.